j wOrLd..

at times, jeff feel the older he gets, the heavier burden he has. jeff knows its the way of life, but sometimes, he do feel like putting down this heavy backpack, and he means the WHOLE LOAD.. jz for awhile, jz a while..to take a breather.

BUT, it can’t be done. so, jeff can only do the next best thing, DOING HIS BEST.~it may not be perfect, but he’s jz doing his very best. to cope, to face, to overcome and to solve whatever that comes his way.

2009 so far  to jeff, and to be frank, is no smooth sailing for him. one after another, problems after problems…but so far, jeff thinks he had done whatever he could in the best possible way. and he’s not planning to run away from anything..~!! so bring it on..~!! there’s much to do, much to learn and much to appreciate..~~!

but AT TIMES, he needs to let loose, he needs someone to listen..to understand and to act on his behalf. jeff would definitely appreciate if he/she wouldn’t give him extra burden or problems. not that he’s fed up, but it makes jeff feel like all that he’s done equals 0.~! and its really really frustrating..~jeff really feel’s that.!

is it becoz of his “unseriousness” character? or is it becoz he simply dun have the ability or skill to persuade ppl..?do jeff need to change anything? is he doing something not rite..?why wouldn’t people jz listen and act to what he said.? jeff is really frustrated when people juz listen, but NEVER put it into action..~! is “promises really made to be broken”…? does anyone understand jeff..?or is he an outcast from the community and lives in his own world..?

*sigh*…~~goin on and on..真的，我没事。。。

On and on, the pain goes on
And it wouldn’t just wouldn’t die
我竟远比想像中软弱且无能为力
对你的眼神选择了逃避 恨自己 恨自己

On and on, the pain lives on
It’s hurting so much more
就让我被悔不当初的罪恶吞去
惩罚过后能否带来解脱

I’ll be fine I’ll be fine
So many cried, listening to God
让坚强不只是种伪装
So many lies, listening to you
天亮后
I will be fine

On and on, the pain goes on and
I just don’t know how to cope
伸手抱住自己是否就能够不再空虚
最后信念别放弃

I will be fine I will be fine
So many cried, listening to you
希望你能再给我力量
So many lies, listening to you
什么时候
I will be fine

当我再也不对任何事期待
只剩下你 只剩下你
有天当我舍弃一切见你
请你要微笑不语

So many cried, listening to you
希望你能再给我力量
So many lies,
listening to you
什么时候 oh
I will be fine

jeff is so jz pissed with this particular ungrateful idiot.~ many many years back..out of pure sincerity and gratitude..jeff’s dad gave u something u would never expected..bt yet..after years down the road…u’re nothing bt a pain in the arse..!~~ not only u did not help out..but spread rumors and cause unnecessary problems..~ jeff’s dad work like hell for so long..doing his very best..what what did he get in return..?? ungratefulness..bombarded…questioned..~~!!is it all worth it..?

jeff wanna ask.. “is that how ppl show their aprreciation?”….

jeff understands that there are all kinds of ppl out there…~~but to see, feeland face it personally from a family member..well~~althought is not so close..jeff simply dun understand it..~! what idiot~ness, sacarstic~ness, ungrateful~ness..!

distinctive measure will be planned and is under way..its best to find a solution..but whatever happens..jeff assures himself and everyone..he will..and must…come out tops..that’s the only way to show this idiot..what a stupid fool he has been, and he always will be..

jeff is feeling much much better..~~watch out..u stupid idiot..~jz watch out..~

1-2-2, 2-1-2, 2-3, 3-2, 1-1-2-1, 1-2-1-1, 1-3-1, D, Man to Man, High Post, Low Post…..and so on, its not jz figures and words. its all about basketball. diff people develope diff interest, and this interest….keeps them afloat….its nt jz a kind of sports that make u healthy, its a kind of therapy..mentally and physically.
    for certain people, its more of a mental thing, when he’s on the court, every single problem is shut out for that few hours. it keeps the mind afresh when it runs out of ideas, and it keeps the mentality intact. he could go "POP" anytime with all the things he’s looking at rite nw, but one thing for sure…all that’s gone when he plays b.ball.
    its not about life and death, its not about running away from problems and its certainly not about haling the game of basketball, but its all about him expressing the interest that kept him going on for quite some time.
    then there’s coaching, its fun, its a learning experience. not only about basketball..but also human interaction. different age groups requires different mentality, that’s quite a challege though..but all’s well..everything’s well taken care of…but….
    human politics are shitty, its all worse if it all begins in within. he not only dun get the support he needed as a coach, but always gettin bombarded together with other coaches by the people up the board. sometimes its jz like …"is it worth it?".
well, dun get it wrong, watching children or people playing b.ball is great, watching players he coached play the beautiful game is even more satisfying..and its the greatest feeling when all the efforts they put in together pay its dividends when they were crowned champions.
    so….hw come he still feels the urged to quit coaching>..? basketball is no longer an interest..or is it now jz a past time..?? say it ain’t so…he’s jz sick and tired of being push around…being critisied…he’s jz doin’ for the love of the game…so what’s wrong with that…??? he jz can’t stand the politics goin around..its not worth his time..he may jz quit coaching..he may jz do it..~~
    but one thing for sure…basketball is always a part of him…ahahah..~~!!
cheers people..~~~for basketball..~~~

say its ignorance, say its unacceptable,
say there’s no understanding, say there’s no give and take,
say whatever u like, bt there’s jz the facts of life.
say its not what u want, but that’s only what you can get,
say there’s plenty in your mind, but its nothing if u don’t say out loud,
say whatever you think, but its jz not the facts of life.
say its uncanny, say its one’s undoing,
say its unfair, or even say its contrast of opinion,
but forgive me for crying out loud.."that’s jz hw i wanna live my life…GODDAMIT.~~~!!" life’s too short..face it …live with it..~~~
peace out..~~

我们的开始 ~~ 是很长的电影 ~~
放映了三年 ~~ 我票都还留着 ~~
冰上的芭蕾 ~~ 脑海中还在旋转 ~~
望着你 ~~ 慢慢忘记你 ~~
朦胧的时间　~~ 我们溜了多远 ~~
冰刀划的圈　~~ 圈起了谁改变 ~~
如果再重来　~~ 会不会稍嫌狼狈 ~~
爱是不是 ~~ 不开口才珍贵 ~~~~!!

再给我两分钟 ~~ 让我把记忆结成冰 ~~
别融化了眼泪　~~ 你妆都花了要我怎么记得 ~~
记得你叫我忘了吧　~~ 记得你叫我忘了吧 ~~
你说你会哭　~~ 不是因为在乎 ~~

朦胧的时间　~~ 我们溜了多远 ~~
冰刀划的圈　~~ 圈起了谁改变 ~~
如果再重来　~~ 会不会稍嫌狼狈 ~~

爱是不是 ~~ 不开口才珍贵 ~~~~!!

再给我两分钟 ~~ 让我把记忆结成冰 ~~

别融化了眼泪　~~ 你妆都花了要我怎么记得 ~~

记得你叫我忘了吧　~~ 记得你叫我忘了吧 ~~

你说你会哭　~~ 不是因为在乎 ~~

再给我两分钟 ~~ 让我把记忆结成冰 ~~

别融化了眼泪　~~ 你妆都花了要我怎么记得 ~~

记得你叫我忘了吧　~~ 记得你叫我忘了吧 ~~

你说你会哭　~~ 不是因为在乎 ~~……………..

damn…when jeff wuz juz gettin in da’ mood, lookin towards the trip…then "phhhhtt..BOOM…" there it goes…up in the smokes..

hw frust~can that b?? of coz there are reasons behind all reasons…~~bt…damn..jeff jz feel so damn frustrated..he wuz really lookin foward to it..~~~!!!

jeff can’t complain no nothin’…he/she gave reasons that’s fair enuff…bt..jeff have no more confident in certain someone…tsk tsk…
the next time he/she would be oraganising something…it makes jeff wanna think twice ’bout it..~~

y can’t jeff jz have a peace n quite holiday…jz lay back by the beach…?? y can’t he jz arrange a short trip himself..?? by gosh…he may jz do that…jeff may jz do that..~~

thing’s ain’t lookin’ better…
it could be worse…but it’s nt improving at all..that’s a definite..~!!
all the little things said and done…it brings great impact.!~~
laid back jeff…!!~~jz laid back…
its tough…its jz so damn fucking tough..~~!

thing’s ain’t goin too well..at times jeff wonders "wat the hell really went wrong?"..
is there no end to all these..?? jeff is fuckin’ pissed n fucking frustrated ’bout the situation he is in nw..!
he tried his best…bt guess he’s best isn’t good enough…he’s about to burst…he really is..!~ it seems everything isn’t goin too well…to the extend that he doesn’t even know what he wants anymore…kinda lost..everytime…its always the same old thing..~~never changed..!!~its fucked up..~~!!
he repeated himself again n again…but it seems it served no purpose at all…its gone with the wind…jeff’s tired..really really tired..
tonnes of thoughts is goin through jeff’s mind nw…but he just can’t put it in words…he’s lost for words…

things ain’t gettin’ better but for the worst..!!~~what can jeff do..??goddamnnit..!~~

it’s all fucked up big time..~~!!!

feelin jz exhausted at times, hadn’t been doin much the whole day, bt it aches all over…not really pain..jz feelin’ the laziness in every single muscles in the body..

things had been jz hectic as of late..not much time 2 rest..at times jeff wished things would simmer down so he had time to jz spend some time alone doin no nothin’..something like goin to the beach..enoying the sea breeze n recharged..

ya..ya…jeff likes the beach a lot..everytime he thinks of holiday…jeff thinks of the beach..so wat..?its not like there’s something special about the beach…u’ve seen one…u’ve seen it all.? or is it not..?

after this wk..things would most probably b even more hectic..when one job is done..another follow swiftly..jz no end to all these..wat kinda job.?ppl may ask.. "all sorts"…jeff says..whether is private matters of biz..everything is there..seems like everything jz stack on one another…tired..tired..

jeff ain’t writting something in particualr nw..jz feelin laid back n dun feel like doin no nothin’……

jz plain bored and tired…hell knows y..?

everyday its work work work..sports sports sports…that’s about sums up jeff’s everyday life..sounds relaxing huh.?its not though..

y slug it out everyday?to earn enuff money so that jeff can enjoy the luxury of life? to go trvavelling n sightseeing?to past time? wat’s the point?to live a better life..that’s wat ppl alwayz says.."so wat’s the point??", jeff sometimes ask himself..still dun understand.

life is not that tough thought…bt its jz at times that jeff feels tired n bored doing things all over again…its not about work, its not about the responsibilities, its not about the people..so wat is it all about? god knows..jeff doesn’t know..

at times jeff would like to jz break away from all these..watever..way out from all these crowded places..alone..mayb wif 1 or 2 frenz..jz laid back n really relax..doin no nothin’..jz laid back..boring huh?who would wanna do this?

wat is jeff trying to say?doesn’t know…jz write it..hoping that 1 day, jeff himself can really understand…